Yesterday I put down a security deposit and first months rent for an apartment for myself. I should be really happy about this because this means that I will no longer be living with my boyfriend of 7 years however I am feeling truly regretful and confused and a little sad I want to be with him but I thought maybe living apart would help us get stronger but now I don’t know what to do I talk to the landlord that I gave the deposit to and he offered to give me back the first months rent until the apartment is ready which will be on the first I’m confused because I’m not sure if I actually want to live by myself again or am I just doing it because I know my family really really wants me to. I didn’t tell my boyfriend. And all I could think about today was how I can make our lives better still living together like possibly turn our shed into a she shed where I can go and have my own personal space were just trying to figure out how we could actually work but now I feel as though I’m just making excuses to stay. Or do I really actually want to stay.