My husband and I have been married 5 1/2 years, we have 2 kids and 1 on the way. Trust has never been a problem, ever. Until 2 weeks ago. My husband is always on his phone watching videos on facebook and tiktok. While I was rocking our youngest as she slept I asked him to use his phone so I could keep entertain. My phone had died and we were not home. He gave it to me and I got on his tiktok to watch videos. And the first video to pop up was borderline porn. So I scrolled past and more came up similar to that. I had a horrible gut feeling and so I looked and saw that he had liked over 25 videos like this starting december 31st of 2019.

We are strong Christian's and have always seen this as bad so I am just confused and hurt. And never thought we would have this problem. I cant help but wonder if this is what he was spending all his time on his phone doing. When I asked him about it he said " you are spying on me?" And I explained exactly how I figured it out and all he responded with was ok and sorry. We talked about it and I said I would forgive him but that it would take time for me to be able to really move on from it and not think he is still doing it. I'll add that I am 28 weeks pregnant and very self conscious and he knows this. He knows how much I hate my body and to see the how these girls he is looking at and liking look and then looking at myself I cant help but feel like it's because I'm ugly now.

Any advice on how to fix this? Or for how I can get over it and not doubt him? I hate that I do it but I feel like it's my fault.