Hi this is my life. I’m sorry this will be extremely long but honestly it feels good to write it all out and see how far I’ve come in life and how I’m excited for my future.

2 days after I turned 16 I found out my mother was having an affair with my best friends dad. I’ve known this girl since 4th grade. I had no idea what to do with the information as I was the only one who knew. My mother didn’t even know that I knew. I went to my older sister for advice and she wouldn’t help me so after 2 months I decided to tell my father but I couldn’t tell him without proof so I decided to find proof on my mother’s phone. ( completely wrong to go through someone’s phone I know but I was desperate) after I told my father he told my mother everything the next day. My mother hated me and didn’t talk to me and my father went along with her to not make her mad. I was alone. I started looking for the attention and love that I wanted from my parents. I ended up pregnant at 16 4 months later. 4 months of being isolated and not speaking to basically either of my parents. Again I told my dad first. I’m closer to my dad. Always have been. He told my mother the next day. She dragged me out of school and took me to my boyfriends house. They then preceded to yell in my face that I was going to have an abortion. I refused. After my first ultrasound I was In love with my baby. I knew the circumstances were terrible but I was determined to do everything in my power to provide and take care of my child. Immediately after this ultrasound my father then proceeded to tell me he was hoping there wouldn’t be a heart beat and I was crushed but still determined to prove them all wrong. Flash forward through my pregnancy I went to homeschooling and graduated high school a whole semester early while working throughout my pregnancy to save up for my baby. My baby girl was born and I was head over heels in love. She made me a better person. After her birth everything was overall good. My family was starting to become better. I was accepted into my dream college for nursing with a full ride. My boyfriend at the time was living with us and we had our ups and downs but we were okay. We got married 2 months after I turned 18. ( biggest regret of my life) we had just gotten our own place right before the wedding. Almost as soon as we were living on our own he changed completely. He was and is addicted to video games. He didn’t want to do anything besides playing video games. He went through almost 10 jobs in 3 years because he never wanted to work meanwhile I had the same job I’ve had since I was 16, going to nursing school, and taking care of our daughter. I worked 3 jobs sometimes during the holidays to be able to get Christmas presents for our daughter. As she got older and I would go to work he would shut her in the bedroom and play video games all day. I wanted to leave for years but did not feel like I could because my family was still rocky. It got to the point he isolated me from my friends. Every time a friend came around he would make a comment about how they would look naked and then one of his out of town friends came and stayed with us without asking me. He made me parade around the house naked to try and get him to have a threesome with us that I was not comfortable with at all because I never met this guy before. Eventually we had to move in with his parents because he wouldn’t keep a job and I couldn’t afford to pay rent by myself. I was also pregnant with our second child. (Accident baby from birth control and antibiotics. Heads up for anyone birth control gets cancelled out from antibiotics.) his mother and I moved our entire apartment without his help. During this time we found out my younger sister and her friend made my 2 year old daughter smoke a juul and posted it on Instagram. We had to file a report to protect ourselves from losing our daughter because she was being watched by my mother when this occurred. I gave birth to my son 2 months later. This gave him an excuse to push my family away from me. I was trapped. My family and I had an even bigger rift between us. We weren’t allowed to go to thanksgiving or Christmas which were my sons first holidays. It was extremely hard. I had to lie to my husband just to go see my mom and dad. He started mentally and emotionally abusing me. After our son was born he had extreme colic. He would only sleep on my chest. I slept in a recliner for 4 months. If I even tried to get in bed he would kick me out because he wasn’t getting any sleep. I was also trying to breastfeed my son as I couldn’t with my daughter. If I got any sleep in the bed he would want sex and if I didn’t want to have sex he would just take it. I was so emotionally and physically drained I failed a class in nursing school. I finally let someone people in my life know what was going on. One of them was my boss. They begged me to leave because his family and him were trying to make me quit my job. They wanted me to stay home and cook and clean for them all day. I was basically their slave. I knew I had to leave but I was scared and felt trapped because I had no where to go. I had no friends and my family hated me. That night after clinicals I texted my mother. I told her to please stay home from work the next day that I needed help. She thankfully said she would stay home and help me however I needed but I didn’t tell her all the details. That night after everyone was asleep I started sneakily packing up whatever I could and hiding it so no one would see. The next morning I was woken up because he was raping me again.... this is when I knew I was making the right decision. After they went to work I made pancakes for his mother and gave them to her in her bed and thankfully she stayed in her room with the door shut all day. I finished packing anything and every thing I could fit in my car and put my children in the car and left. He threatened to take my kids away and I’d never see them again and I couldn’t risk that. My children are my life. A lot of drama and cops and courts later we finally have a custody agreement and I have majority custody. He only gets them every other weekend. 5 months after I left I met an amazing man. Funny story is that he is the brother of my first ever boyfriend back in 7th grade. I stayed friends with my ex since 7th grade and he invited me to a party at his place with his wife which I went to and met his brother again after years. We got super drunk and he kissed me and I freaked out and ran away. Thankfully I had his number and I apologized the next day. We had a short conversation and that is it. 2 weeks later he texted me and we never stopped. He was my night in shining armor. He accepted me for who I am and I loved me and my children as his own. He was there for me every night during my nightmares and helped me overcome all the abuse. He taught me how to be loved instead of pushing him away. During all of this I was still in nursing school. It was extremely tough being a single mom with 2 kids, working, clinicals, and classes but I was managing. 2 days before my finals my son had surgery and my school wouldn’t help me. I didn’t make a good enough grade on my final and ended up failing the class. After 2 fails they kick you out of nursing I was devastated. I felt like a failure but my man told me not to give up and I didn’t. I decided to make the best out of the situation and took one more semester to have enough credits to graduate with my associates degree. I finally graduated with my degree this April 2020. I’m over the moon that I’m an official college graduate. My family and I are still not on the best terms. My family’s house is an extremely toxic environment. My family isn’t even proud of me for graduating and I want them to be proud so bad. My father refuses to even acknowledge I graduated. It really hurts me but every time I see my children smile I know that they will be proud of me. I’m currently putting in jobs as a pharmacy tech to try and get a better job and finally move out of my parents with my man. I’m so proud of myself for how much I’ve overcome and I am so excited for our future. I’m doing it y’all. I survived.