What do I do??

So me and my boyfriend havent had much sex lately and its causing problems.

I have a high sex drive and I guess he doesnt. The thing is when we first started dating wed be at it almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day. 🥴🥴

Now weve been together 3 years and it's gone down a LOT. Like twice a month. We have no kids, arent married. I'm 21 hes 24.

And weve had problems before. About 2 years ago when we moved in together I started being the only one initiating. And he would almost ALWAYS say no. I started feeling so aweful and unwanted I would cry all the time and he never understood when I explained it to him.

Somehow we finally figured it out and got better, about twice a week. I was super happy, no problems.

Then it became once a week.....then once every two weeks.... and again we had issues i was initiating and he didnt understand why I was so upset.

I just gave up at that point and let it be.

I thought perhaps it was me asking all the time that was making him not in the mood so I stopped asking and waiting for him to come to me.

What makes me upset is I can wait two or three weeks and he wont even notice or try and start anything!!

So eventually I had to *remind* him and we fixed it again but honestly things arent as they used to be. He doesnt call me beautiful or really compliment the way I look. When I talk to him about it, he'll start telling me I'm beautiful a LOT for 2 days then forget again till I remind him months later.

He used to be super attracted to me, couldnt keep his hands off me and now its like....eh. why bother. He doesnt even like making out unless were gonna have sex. Any foreplay we do is me to him cause I'll suck and tug and everything but I dont get any of that back.

Rn it's been four weeks since we had sex and I am so horny I'm legit upset. And I'm on my period. I talked to him about it when my period started and he seemed genuinely upset when I told him I had it cause he wanted us to have sex.

I was SO happy he said that cause he never seems like he wants it badly, I said "really??" And he was like "yeah I've noticed I've been feeling bad lately and I realized it's probably cause we havent had sex in a while. I think once we do I'll feel better."

I was just....

When I told him that was a weird way to put it and I'd like sex to be more about us and something we want to do, he said he just misspoke. "Itll make *us* feel better" he said.

To top it off hes been jerking off in the shower during these weeks we havent been having sex. I dont mind him jerking off, but if that's taking the place of us having sex I got a problem. He said it's just easier to do that than actual sex so now it seems like it's a chore to be with me?

It cant be boring cuz I'm always down to try new things, most of the time we dont cause he doesnt wanna.

And because were on lockdown and hes been working hard I offered to take care of him with some lube (he doesnt like having dick in vag sex on my period). He jumped at the idea and wouldnt you know it didnt last long cause i know what I'm doing down there. 💅

But it was the closest we had come to sex in weeks and made me feel a bit better how much he said he loved it. I actually went to bed feeling good that night and did it again the next night. 😖😖😣

Of course that probably wasnt a good idea cause now hes satisfied and im not. I've been all lovey and kissin up on him and he just gives me side kisses and is getting kinda annoyed.

I told him its cuz im horny and still havent had sex yet....ud think id get an offer to take care of me too....ik if id ask hed do it, but I get tired of asking and would love to have him think of it on his own for once.

I'm just super upset and I dont know if its period hormones, needing some "love" or what.

Generally speaking we have a very happy life and in all other regards he is a PERFECT boyfriend.

But hes my first EVERYTHING so i have nothing to compare this relationship to. Is this normal in relationships? Should I worry about it? How do I get him to understand my POV?

Also I do "take care" of myself a lot, but as much as I want it to, it doesnt satisfy me very much. Not for weeks at least