i’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and he doesn’t like to take pictures. it’s not an indication of cheating i know he’s loyal it’s just that he doesn’t use his phone often- only for youtube really. in my past relationships i’d constantly be taking photos and videos, so when i realised he didn’t like me being on my phone a lot i toned it down. i used to always be on snapchat and i get loads of memories from before we were together but i don’t have a lot of pictures anymore. is it bad that i preferred taking photos? i liked the idea of capturing things even if they were stupid or having a memory of a day for me later.

it wasn’t until 6 months of being together that i finally felt comfortable enough to take proper selfies with him, all my photos before that being quick snaps of him that id save anyway because i didn’t have many pictures of us. one time we were in facemasks and i took a few mirror photos and then asked which i could put on my snapchat story and he said “why is it anyone’s business”. i understood his stance more after that, that there wasn’t a point to it i just liked to show him off so i stopped and never post now because it was tiring thinking about shit like that and what people think of me, it got easier to just not care or bother. but now i don’t feel comfortable taking photos of him or taking pictures together because i know he’s uncomfortable or doesn’t care or he pulls a face like i’ve gone off and it makes me feel bad when all i want is a photo. to be fair it does take me a while to get a good one so we take photos for ages but i’ve gotten worse taking pictures because i take them less now and i’m very insecure so i like to take lots.

i told him about this that it bothers me that he doesn’t want to take photos of me either that he barely has pictures of us and he couldn’t understand why that upset me. i don’t really know either. i just like the idea of him showing me off and me showing him off not to parade us or anything i just think it’s nice to show people who you love once in a while. i haven’t said that to him as the few times i’ve brought up the photo taking thing he’s just like “why what’s the point” BUT IDK i just think it’s a nice thing to do?? i think it’s sweet and i like to know he’s proud enough of me to show other people. we also met at uni so his friends don’t really know what i look like and i know his ex was super pretty and it just makes me self conscious. he only really takes bad pictures of me. i think he’s only posted me like twice on his social media. he just says he sees me so why does it matter. which i get but idk.

i know for a fact he took photos of his ex because i saw them on his instagram before we got together (he removed them after i said they bothered me and he apologised and explained he just doesn’t go through his instagram so he doesn’t even realise what he has on there) and he used to take photos on the app, he wouldn’t take ages taking photos and choosing before posting. there’s absolutely no way he’s cheating or living a double life or whatever- he just genuinely barely uses his phone now. i feel silly and stupid even getting upset about it because i know it’s not personal but i don’t know how to speak to him about it without sounding completely ridiculous- because let’s be real it is a bit stupid. it’s so menial and a silly thing to be upset about but it does upset me for some reason. maybe it’s the social media mindset but i just would feel like he cared more and appreciated me more if he showed me off a little.

like the other day we saw a heron and he took his phone out to take a picture and i said as a joke “you take more pictures of a bird than of me”. and so he said sorry and it’s just not habit for him to take photos so i need to keep bugging him, but it just bothers me that he wouldn’t think to take a photo of us if he thought i looked nice or anything and i do take pics of us but it just makes me too uncomfortable to ask now. and he did used to take pictures before we were together of random shit and friends as he had a spam account. he’s just changed a bit now but i don’t want him to change i want him to want to see where i’m coming from and do it himself (LOL i sound like the “i want flowers but i don’t want to say because i want him to want to get me flowers” ffs he’s never even gotten me flowers before 😭).

reading this back i sound ridiculous but it does bother me. if you’ve bothered to read this i’m just asking for some advice really. he says he likes to take funny photos he doesn’t see why he should just take random ones which i get but id be more comfortable with that if he had nice photos of me too which he doesn’t really. i don’t really know what i’m asking here id just love a bit of advice or someone to tell me not to overthink it because i know he loves me ffs this just bothers me. So sick of myself lol.

Thank you!! 💖