Well what happened? Happened.

You can call me stupid because that’s what I am.

So I’m just going to start from the beginning.....

I met my significant other at a dispensary at the time I was a total pothead and well I went in 2-3 times a week and the security in the front I always thought he was secretly cute.... hazel eyes, very built, honestly a little ugly looking to most girls but to me i don’t know he had a certain something that I liked..... anyways when I met this man he admitted to liking me and well I liked him too but I didn’t wanna move into a relationship so quickly because of my lack of trust.... told him I needed time which he did until he got suspicious of me seeing someone else (WHICH IS NOT THE CASE) I wanted to be with him but I was being cautious because my fear of getting hurt was pretty high. So one-day he tried kissing me and I told him I wasn’t ready which lead to more suspicions.... weeks went by and well I said “FUCK IT” I really like this guy! I wanna be happy! And told him I wanted to accept to be his girlfriend and to be exclusive. Soooo, fast forward 6 months and he said he wanted to marry me, gave me a ring and ask my parents permission! I was beeeyond happy! We even talked about kids because I had only been dreaming about being a mom for the longest time..... and well then he said he wanted a baby as well.... and that if I would to get pregnant? And I said I wanted to get married first and do things right..... but my dumbass got brain wash and some how “making new rules in relationships” made sense at the time.... so we got pregnant! Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> (2018) I was pregnant ! And head over heels in love!! We were planning to move out, get married after I had our baby, and well start our lives!! But FUCK, life is funny you know? Life can turn real fucking quick. When I met him he said he has a daughter that he “ADOPTED” because it was in reality his “NEICE” and the government was going to take her away since his older sister was a “DRUNK” & “DRUG ADDICT” soooo, I believed that story and never questioned. Always wanted to meet his family and I always felt as if he was trying to keep me away.... hidden. Sooo... FAST FORWARD....! & well his sister spilled the beans and turns out the little girl is his ACTUAL, BIOLOGICAL, DAUGHTER. I forgave him. I accepted it and we decided to move on. My son arrives and the whole day was ruined for me 6cm dilated, full on contractions, drug free! So I was feeling everything and this MAN decided that he needs to leave because he needs to take a “SHOWER” because he smelled like weed and didn’t wanna meet his son like that. My mom was PISSED..... so he left . Long story short he missed the birth of his son by 10 mins.... I was broken. Truly hurt. Didn’t spend the night with me, didn’t help me at night, left alone the night I gave birth! I’ve never felt more alone. FAST FORWARD.... my son is 3 months now... and well at this point my sons father does not live with me, I live with my parents and he comes and goes , visits 1-2 a week.... and does not help financially. Turns out that this entire time his family didn’t know anything about me, his dad and step mom didn’t know anything about us until that day and my son was only 3 months old. I gave him chance, after chance, after chance, after chance..... everyday it was something new or some excuse as to why we wouldn’t move in and why he couldn’t support us... it even got to a point where he yell at me saying he didn’t wanna married anymore.... that marriage was not for him, he didn’t see himself marrying anymore for a long time. So I questioned him like ...?? What’s gonna happen? So what’s the goal? Why are we even together right ?!?? I always thought it was me ! He always made me feel CRAZY !! But no my intuition told me something else... I did a little digging and turns out ... he was living with the other baby mama in an apartment... and then moved out into a house that’s owned by her father which I’m assuming she lives with. And wait no no no... there’s more....... found out by his own sister that he is still married and with the baby mama. I just about had enough and told him I wanted nothing to with him.... I told him I wanted full custody of our son since he never done anything for us!!! Gave him 2 choice.... 1.) sign over your parental rights? Or 2.) I take you to court, file for full-custody, and put child-support since he is a security guard at a dispensary he has his gun license and permits and he said he would lose all that (WHICH TBH I DONT KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT IT TO SAY ANYTHING OR CLARIFY.) he decided to sign over his rights since he told him he does nothing for us that I’ve been working my ass off to provide for our son and he can’t even put the effort to be honest? How can I trust him? I HONESTLY DONT EVEN KNOW THIS MAN... he has lied to me from day 1. Doesn’t have a stable phone I have 10 different numbers under his name 2. Don’t know is address because he doesn’t like giving out out and is “PERSONAL” !! Like wtf? Fucking crazy thing is who knew “googling” people would be so easy ? Turns out he still married. YUP. STILL MARRIED. I was fucking a married man, had a baby with him!! He said he is willing to sign over his rights but I don’t even know where the hell to begin..... I feel like I missed a lot because I honestly can’t type anymore !! But I need advice any welcomed and if you have any questions feel free to ask.