Am I crazy or what!? Alcohol is evil!

Backstory: My husband and I have been married for 5 years, together 10. The past few years have been rough. His dad is an alcoholic, almost died, and qualified for some life saving treatment that reversed his liver problems. He still chooses to drink and puts alcohol before his family. My MIL has been depressed and making excuses for him the whole time I’ve known her. It’s sad. She actually just found out she has liver problems as well. It’s not cirrhosis yet but in the early stages of becoming cirrhosis. MY dad just passed away a month ago after battling liver cancer for two years. He was my favorite person on earth and he didn’t deserve what he went through. He drank very rarely.

Because of all of this, the death of my dad, alcoholic family members, etc. I have a hard time with accepting alcohol. I trust myself with it because I know I can control myself. If my husband starts drinking, he doesn’t stop. I bought a bottle of crown apple for myself (would probably last a year) and he drank it in a day. He has never preferred alcohol because he liked other “drugs” better. He has had to stop smoking marijuanna because of a new job (and DSS investigation & failed DSS drug test, another traumatic story for another day) & has now turned to tobacco and drinking. I recently got a phone call from one of my student’s father saying that he pulled my husband over and he was going to jail for blowing a .09. He got reckless driving and a speeding ticket as well. Since then he has gotten another speeding ticket AND he was layed off his job. I have explained to him that I feel very out of control because of his drinking and poor choices. We don’t have the money for alcohol or tickets. It makes me anxious. I don’t trust him, and I don’t feel that it’s right to drink uncontrollably around me when my dad just died. HE DOESN’T CARE! He’ll go a day and then buy more. He left this past saturday and took acid with his friend and was gone ALL night. It’s always something- some kind of drug or mind altering substance, always! & since he’s layed off, he’s using my money for this stuff. I’m still teaching from home, watching our daughter, and taking care of our house. He doesn’t help AT ALL. He’s gone all day doing whatever he does. Probably dealing marijuana again.

Am I crazy for not being NICE about this?

Do I have the right to be upset constantly?

Am I just “bitching” at him when I ask him to stop all of this & stop being a low-life?

I have explained that I have no choice but to leave him if he continues this behavior and he continues. Should I just leave? He’s great in every single other way but I can’t support this. We have a 2 year old who needs him to be sober minded and out of trouble. Doesn’t this show the lack of respect for me during a very hard, traumatic time in my life?