Bear with me, and thank you to anyone who reads this!

Ive been with my partner a little more than 4.5 years, we have two daughters, 3 and 4 months.

It’s been awhile since I’ve felt really loved. I know he loves me, the way you love someone whose been around a long time. But I don’t believe he’s really in love with me.

In the past he’s cheated on me twice (one night things) (and gotten a lap dance at a strip club which he knew I wasn’t okay with after the cheating)

The most recent was 1.5 years ago, but of course you don’t forget, because how could he have done it if he really loved me? I could never do that to him.

But what’s getting to me is not feeling like I have an involved, loving, or even grown up partner. Everyday he sleeps in, when he was working he’d sleep in till he went to work, and spent almost no time with the kids nor ever helped around the house.

I’ve had hundreds of talks with him it and he always apologizes and says he’ll do better, but never does.

Now he’s been off work for over a month because of covid and has literally nothing but free time, but no matter how much I ask or tell him how I feel he has been sleeping til 1-3pm, then gets up and has a bath, some days he does help with some dishes which is nice but only some days, then pretty much goes to the bedroom to play video games til 3am and sleep in again. Maybe spends about 30 minutes a day with the kiddos, when he has ALL DAY.

And he doesn’t spend time with me, but that’s more because I don’t have time because I am doing literally everything.

I’m just so sick of having the same conversation everyday and nothing changing. He knows it’s stressful and depressing for me, but doesn’t care enough to change it.

Obviously there’s even more to the story, but this is long already.

If you’ve gotten through it please let me know what you think you’d do.

Is it right to stay for the kids? Because I feel like that’s what I’ve been doing..

Also I’ve suggested counseling many times and he just won’t do it