If I had known that cancer was going to take my grandmas life I would’ve hugged her a little longer. I would’ve visited her more often. I wouldn’t have stopped spending the night at her house Almost every weekend just because I became a teenager. I would’ve appreciated her back tickles a little more. I would cherish every single moment. I wish I could hear her say just one last time “ oh my short little grandchild” when she hugged me. I miss when I used to go to her house and she would always have that black licorice candy that’s coated in a hard candy shell (I can’t remember the name). That’s one thing we shared in common, we both really loved black licorice. I miss her sweet smile. She was always so supportive. I took for granted the time I had with her. I wish I wouldn’t have been so stupid. I didn’t want to think that I had only a few months left with her after we found out she had cancer. When I visited her to show her my bunny to make her smile she didn’t look that sick. When I spent the night at her house she didn’t look that sick. But the day when I was in school and I got the text from my dad that she was in the hospital and I needed to come immediately because “this might be the last time you get to see her”. Wow that was the fastest I’ve ever made it anywhere. I walked into a room full of crying people I didn’t know to see my grandma laying in the bed, barely looking alive. Next to her stood my mom who gave me a week smile. I tried to say hello but broke into tears. She was in the hospital for almost two weeks. I said my goodbyes to her alone in the room I told her how much I loved her and I got her to make a noise for me. I hope that was her telling me goodbye. We knew it was time for her to go. I just wish I could’ve held onto her a little longer. I’ve heard of the death rattle before. You don’t know how scary and heartbreaking it is till you hear your loved one making that grim noise. On January 12th at around 3 am I got a call from my dad. She had passed away. I’ve never felt such hurt in my heart. She was such a wonderful person. I’m not just saying that because she’s gone. The most loving grandma anyone could have. I wanted her to be there when I got married and when I have kids. She was only 63. It’s so hard. Visit your grandparents more. Don’t take them for granted. Love them. I miss you nana Julie. The best blessing in the world was you.