Home / Community / General TTC (no pregnancy tests!)

Infertility - 3.5 years and then Covid says “wait some more”

My sweet husband and I have been TTC since September 2016. It’s been such a long journey that finally led us to

,we were supposed to be starting our first cycle this month but then there was a freaking global pandemic! 🤦🏻‍♀️ it felt almost comical, that after all the routes we had pressured and after all of the years praying for direction and then FINALLY deciding with our doctors that

was the right path for us there is a global pandemic and yet again we have to wait. At first ( as shameful as it is) I threw myself a big fat putty party. I was sad and angry that starting a family was put on hold for us right as things were starting to look hopeful. To add flame to the fire I am a wedding photographer and my whole summer season of work has also been postponed. It felt as though everything that I had been looking forward to was being taken away. And YES! I am SO thankful that we have our health and all of our loved ones do too. That is the biggest blessing. But that didn’t change the feelings that I was having. It can be so hard to stand strong in your faith and in the promises that God has for your life. But I was scrolling on social media and found the most perfect message (at the bottom of my post) and it felt like it was Gods way of reminding me that he is still in control. And that although things may not have gone as I planned, HIS plan is much more than I could ever fathom. Then I started thinking back on the last 3.5 years of infertility and on the adventures my husband and I have been able to take together that I could have never imaged being able to do (like seeing the norther lights 😍) and thinking about all of the ways our marriage has grown and strengthened in this time of waiting. It’s been such a long, beautiful, heartbreaking and heartwarming adventure. I am so thankful that God placed this man in my life to go through this with and I know that he will grow our family in the perfect time and in the perfect way 💗 letting go is hard but sometimes the most beautiful things come from it 💗

End rant! Isolation has me thinking of all sorts of things 💗

(Some of my photos from said adventures 💗)