TW- Eating Disorder

I don’t have insurance and I have an eating disorder. I am addicted to food and it’s so hard to stop eating. I can’t even begin to describe the feeling and feel like utter shit after knowing what I did to my body. I gained 50 lbs in the last 2 years just trying to control it. In my head I know the few minutes of eating it makes me feel good I know it’s really bad for me and it makes me disgusting. I’ve been excercising so much these last two weeks that I can barely move my knee because of the extra weighting baring on my joints running. I feel trapped and stuck and I just want to cry. 😩😩😩