Today I sit in the girl room with closed door and cry. I wanted to cut myself. I wanted to leave this place. I need to be strong but today I cry.

Today my autistic daughter refused to wear clothes while outside the back yard. I was mad! I yelled for her to keep it on as I bend numerous time with my 4 month belly. She put up a fight until I give in. I texted her grandmother whom is in the Caribbean to get her and cried while I wrote.

Today i realize I'm not happy. I'm stress out and need to leave. Today I realize I had no where to go. Today I realize this is too much. Today I realize I need to be gone. Today I realize he don't love me. Today I realize everybody else come first to him than his own. Today I realize if I stay I will commit suicide. Today I cry as I realize I'm lost 😭

Today I cry