Long long loooooooong story short... bf and I had a big fight over porn. He absolutely refuses to quit using it and i told him it makes me not want to bother trying to be any sort of anything for him if he's just going to jerk off in the bathroom instead of being with me. He went so far as to call my dad ... blah blah blah. I was and still am pretty sore about it.

Anyways, I told him we could try to figure things out, but until he goes to work in a week (gone for 28 days) IF he is going to try to engage me with sex, he has to act like he wants ME and not just a fuck. 3 weeks went by and nothing. I just kept quiet. I want him to make me feel like I'm more important that fucking porn ... and nothing. He just says me being mad doesn't turn him on. Okay fine, so i changed my attitude and I wandered around in a tank top no bra ... all he did was pull his dick out in my face. I was disappointed and I said "I'm not there yet". I assume he took care of it himself. And strangely, I feel nothing about it right now. Absolutely nothing at all either way. I assume maybe I only turned him on enough to get a boner, but not to actually want ME (yeah I'm sure that doesn't make sense)

Should I just give in and just be fine with everything and suppress any feelings i might feel because he's not going to stop and just never ever say anything again, or just keep to myself in regards to sex with him before he leaves for work in a week in the hopes that he eventually gets it. I'm perfectly fine with no sex right now, I'm pretty pissed still and I literally have no "feelings" either way right now. I think sex would just be empty right now.

I should mention (before the "leave him" comments, that's not happening. I want to fix this shit) that massive depression plays a MAJOR role in this for me. Which is why he called my dad. Make all the rude mean comments you want, I'm a big girl. Maybe a stranger on the internet will "save me" from myself. I've just literally been sitting here feeling worthless and pointless with everyone telling me "therapy" and "meds" and "get over it".

****** I should add, he called my dad becsuse usually my dad can get people to "see sense" ... which would be fine aside from the nature of the reason for the call.

Also, I feel the porn does affect our sex life in that I'm always dressed up in some outfit or costume, and he will randomly suggest new clothes or ideas. I feel like I literally and physically can not turn him on with out some dress up stuff. We havent just had SEX in forever. Its always "why don't you go get changed" after I suck him off a bit.

This, I feel, is a legit reason for disliking porn more than just I dont like it. I'm literally in competition with it.