Birth jealousy

Ladies, I’ve been consumed by jealousy all week after my friend had her dream quick water birth, after mine was awful and traumatic. I feel TERRIBLE for feeling this way, and haven’t shared it with anyone. Has anyone ever experienced this?

I’m so so pleased for her, i’ve been talking to her daily offering support with feeding and the emotional ups and downs. Her baby came quick and easy, they came straight home, and breastfeeding has been easy for them. My experience was the opposite. I’m so incredibly happy for her, but why do I feel so jealous? I don’t even want another baby right now, and I lie awake at night feeling like if it was so easy for her I must have been a real failure. Am I alone in this?

(For the record my birth was nowhere near the trauma some experience but : I had a 3 day labour, got to 9cms in the pool just gas and air, but had to leave pool and have epidural (that went wrong took 45 mins to get in, didn’t work, didn’t know I had a curved spine) because baby was in bad position and meconium in water, pushed in agony for over 3 hours under guidance of student midwife who was left alone and didn’t know what she was doing, heart rate dropped nurses and doctors rushed in and took over, had episiotomy and ventouse, tore aswell, 9lb 7 baby (I’m tiny) and then a complicated time with feeding/jaundice/weight loss/ infected stitches and midwife later told me the male doctor had given me what they call a ‘husband stitch’ (stitched me tighter than I was so extremely uncomfortable) etc etc etc just a long exhausting and stressful time