Need encouraging words

I have been fine most of the day. I have stayed busy most of it, but My husband still isn’t home for the night, kids are in bed, and I caught myself looking up tattoos to honor angel babies as I just miscarried 2wks ago for the third time.. I started bawling out of nowhere when I thought I was fine. Then, I started thinking about how I have 2 living children and I’m so selfish to cry. I feel like it’s not okay to be sad and I feel so guilty, yet again I can’t stop crying.