I have a mood disorder which is right under bipolar. I have been on medication for over 2 years now and also haven't drank for the same amount of time. I have my mental health under control most of the time. I am going through a break up which happened a little over 2 weeks ago. I had a terrible dream where he told me he had sex with 10 women already and like them and doesn't care about me.. it was terrible. I know it isn't true but I keep thinking of him seeing someone else which I truly believe he is. It was a toxic abusive relationship and he left me 7 times within 7 months. I know I should be happy he is gone but there are moments I feel left behind and worthless because I wasn't good enough for him to stay.. I stay busy but when I am alone it gets to me. He made me believe he loved me and wanted to marry me and it was a lie. It sucks and he is the type to move on within weeks and I am not. I miss the company and want the man I am supposed to be with already..

My mood disorder doesn't affect me much in my normal day life but when I was in this relationship I felt like I wasn't in control of my emotions and I reacted in ways I would have when I was drinking or not on medication. I wish I had more women to talk to about emotions and how to over come our struggles.