Any tips on receiving oral?

I'm a lady who has never experienced sexual satisfaction receiving oral. I cannot relax due to previous experience that left me unsatisfied and wanting to know what I'm missing. My husband to me, doesn't take his time and I personally believes he doesn't want to with me but can chow down on other women with no problem. I want to say that in my efforts of enticement and sensual/sexual lure, I've been turned down several times by my husband, which allows me to relax to receive oral but he has no idea that, the rejection to my advances really makes me feel ashamed, ugly, stupid, and most of all offended! Now that I went into defense mode and don't want him to even touch me intimately in such a way, now he says things like " now I will never taste you", which comes across very offensive to me due to the chances he's blown off, if all he did was give in to me, when I'm ready for intimacy. His excuses never makes since and it's not like I turned him down when he wanted intimacy. Now I crave intimacy but with a new person now and I haven't told my husband this. But honestly, since men are turned in by the visual, I don't believe I have the body or size looking breasts he lusts for. My femininity is not respected therefore now when he asked for intimacy, my body shuts down and now I'm intimate out of obligation instead of attraction. Its gotten to where I would fake stomach pains so we won't have sex. This has went on since 2011.