Nanny for Ugly Divorce Family

Looking for advice or thoughts on my current situation as a nanny.

Some background info:

In January of 2019 I became a part-time nanny for an adorable 7 month old girl (I’ll call her D for the sake of extra privacy). By the time summer came, I was watching her 35-40 hours a week. Starting September-ish, I noticed a few odd things but nothing I thought warranted a mention on my part as it was likely none of my business. I started to notice that D would occasionally be more fussy or tired. Something I chalked up to the normal growing pains of a toddler. Then I realized that it was only on the days that I saw both her mom and dad prior to them leaving for work for the day (often times it was just the dad that I would see as Mom has to head to work earlier).

One day I noticed a hole in their bedroom door maybe 6 inches wide with the knob slightly off. D was especially fussy that day and took a much longer nap than normal. I noticed a very full backpack was always by the front door and one day it was left open with one of those travel bags for toiletries and some clothes hanging out. As months passed, I noticed things like broken picture frames, an open bottle Melatonin, and unopened self-help marriage books. Trying to mind my own business, I never brought any of this up to the parents with the exception of mentioning D’s more tired demeanor on certain days. In November, Mom told me they were looking into a divorce due to a one-time instance of infidelity on her part and a very bad temper on his. She made it clear that he never got physical with her or D but sometimes he would punch a wall or throw something. Despite this, Mom insists that Dad continues to be a great father even if he isn’t a great husband.

I learned today that a big fight between D’s parents led to “some damage to the house” (dad’s exact words, to which he did not elaborate on) and they were hesitant to have me over because of it. Surprisingly (and definitely unprompted) Dad also told me Mom has been having an affair for at least the last 6 months and he is not allowed to see or contact Mom for the time being. He said they are still trying to figure out what is best for D during all of this.

Neither Mom nor Dad have family close by physically and even if they did, neither are on good terms with their own families. Mom has also told me specifically that they have no close friends around either.

My heart aches so much for D during all this. Now almost 2, she is starting to get more proficient with words and understanding her surroundings. I am trying my best to support and love D as much as possible without stepping on Mom & Dad’s toes yet this new dynamic of me not being around as much is making it much more difficult. Thoughts or advice?

TL;DR? Parents of the toddler I babysit are going through an ugly divorce and I’m trying my best to stay out of things yet maintain care and love for the child.