Question of what’s appropriate

Please only respond if you can relate.

Do you think it’s appropriate for a married woman to reach. Out via email then to what’s app to an old fling. ? Or think if the shoe is on the alternate foot would you care if you husband reached out to an old fuk friend?

I had suspicions about my wife. And I found her talking to an ex. She said via email. Hey thought about you today. How’s life. I am ok taking to you if you don’t mind not calling etc. so they talked via what’s app which I never got to see

I spoke to the guy he told me that they never met and just caught up. And they would hang out fwb 12 years ago. That’s it.

My wife. Claims that they were only friends years ago Which is a clearly a lie. As per him and my common sense before that clarification.

The fact that she hid this from me has sparked a suspicion of me not trusting her,I love her like crazy but I am paranoid. And I can’t deal with heartache it hurts me. Like why lie about you contacting him and why even want to contact him it’s like do you think he can fuck you better. I don’t get it. And if she would lie about the basis of there initial friendship. What else would she lie about. That shows intent.

Any thoughts. Save the pro woman response about why are you snooping. Clearly it was validated. I’m looking for insight not just penny fogging the issue.