My 3.5 y/o is starting to have questions as his 8m/o little brother has visits with his dad and my older sons dad has not and likely will never be involved.

It’s a long and complicated story, but in short his dad raped me, at least I think so. I doubt myself a LOT and refused to call it that for a long time. but the few I have confided in with the entirety of the situation have confirmed that it was and honestly if I was listening to a friend tell me what happened to me I would probably go hunt the person down myself.

Anyhow, with my older son getting curious I keep avoiding it. Right now my younger sons dads visits are supervised and I have to be there, so my older son has time with his nonni and papa. He asks where I’m going I’ll say I have to go take brother he asks where I say to a friends (y’all I know this is not the truth I just don’t know how to talk to him or answer his questions that I know will come) then he asks what friends and I avoid it. He knows my younger sons dad as we dated when he was 21-24 months and he seems to remember him a bit from more recently when he was around when little brother was a newborn. So when he has to come with me he knows who brothers going to and I’m afraid he may get jealous/sad that brother is getting time with someone he once played with? I don’t know.

I just don’t know how to answer his questions honestly without it killing me or potentially hurting him.

Would “he’s not here” be sufficient at this age? Or how would you all talk about it?