Bestfriend pregnant and I’m not as usual 😩😩😩

Sooo... my ex best friend is pregnant I say ex because we literally just drifted apart in secondary school I got kicked out and went to a different school but we still are close at heart so today I open my insta and right there smack dead in my face is a picture of her in the hospital holding up her baby scan picture I tried not to cry but it came out (I know pathetic) I wasn’t unhappy for her I was excited I always knew she was going to be a good mum but she was always so shy in school we are 20 now I never expected her to get pregnant before me and I know for a fact I’ve been trying longer I tell my SO and he just gives me a dead expression likes he’s fed up of hearing me talk about how many of my friends are pregnant I feel like I have no one to talk to I’ve been to the doctors and they say I’m fine had check ups they say I’m fine he on the other hand has not but due to corona virus he won’t be checked for a while I feel like just giving up leaving him and falling down a big black hole I want the ground to open up and swallow me 😭😭😭