What are your thoughts?

Question

Ive been having concerns about a guy I've been talking to for several weeks and I conveyed them like how we haven't had a phone call yet and I was worried he was using me cause he said I was keeping him company during lockdown and this was his reply. What are your thoughts? I'm sorry I don't have any female friends to ask 😔

Thank you guys for the advice, I really appreciate hearing it from both sides! ☺️

Answer

I personally wouldn't want to be with someone who hasn't called me or met me yet calls me an idiot

Answer

Sketchy.
He should at least be able to talk on the phone.
Catfish situation possibly?

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The “you idiot” comment really rubbed me the wrong way. You’re trying to have a serious conversation here. I understand how some people could get anxiety over phone calls but... I’ve never talked to a guy who didn’t want to do that. Are you at least friends with him on social media like Facebook or Instagram? I’d be asking for them if you haven’t. Make sure he’s not a catfish or someone you wouldn’t even be interested in based on what he posts.

Answer

He shouldn’t call you an idiot like wtf? He could’ve been a little nicer or more reassuring .. just saying but it sounds like he has anxiety so I get it 😭 I used to pretend I could answer the phone bc I was so anxious to have a convo. He needs to work on it tho ya know? Practice makes perfect so yeah it might be weird at first but afger a couple times it’ll make sense. But if hes worried about things to talk about I say you guys have fun and come up with 21 questions to ask each other and have that be your first call!!! That game will keep the convo flowing and you’ll learn a lot about each other. Odds are you wouldn’t even make it to question 21 cause I you’ll get side tracked just talking. Just some advice I think could help! 💜 best of luck

Answer

I just think he has really bad anxiety maybe keep on pushing for a phone call or video chat at least one time and if he constantly makes excuses after excuses then I’d say for sure red flag

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Not necessarily in defense for this guy in particular—but some people honestly hate talking on the phone. My husband likes talking to me in the phone. But he tells me all the time how much he hates phone calls to anyone else for any reason. 
Now but we didn’t meet online, we met in person through some friends. But it was probably a couple months before we talked on the phone for anything other than “hey, I’m here” type of stuff.
And we were long-distance. We lived 2 1/2 hours from a each other. Since once our relationship was better established as a couple, then we started having phone conversations

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Girl don’t waste your breath, your energy on him. A real man gonna do things without even asking.

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Have you come out and asked him “hey can I call you?”
If not, It seems like you’re projecting your insecurities on him.  It’s passive to say I want to talk, but you haven’t said you want to talk, so there’s something wrong with you.  But I won’t ask you to talk, I’ll take you not wanting to talk to me as a rejection, which is what I feared from the beginning.  Does this make sense?  It’s making him responsible for what you want without communicating it to him and taking it as a rejection before there was any rejection.

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Umm the response of “you idiot” is a for sure bye for me!

Answer

If the conversation he puts out doesn’t serve you try taking a step back. I’m pretty sure you don’t want to feel like he is not sure about you.

What are your thoughts?

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