A never ending cycle

Hi, it's me again... remember me. No probably not. The daughter you don't have a relationship with because I'm sick of you. Sick of your lies, your broken promises, your bullshit weak ended excuses... you dont care about me, my mother or even yourself which is really sad actually. Every time the kids ask about you - their grandpop.. being their mom I have to tell them grandpop is sick he will call or visit tomorrow. Well you know what tomorrow never comes. You promised time and time again you would put the bottle down and each and every time you can't even put it down longer then 2 hours. I fucking hate you, who you became. You left me and my mother maybe not physically but you left us and choose the bottle every single time. You can never be around us anymore without being falling down drunk. Please don't ever worry about us because you don't care about us anyways. I'm so thankful my kids dont see you. But today when I went to my moms I saw you there and it was only 11am and you were already stuttering etc. My grandmother recently told me before she gained her angel wings, that she prays you stop drinking and stop killing yourself and I prayed with my grandmother that would be true. **And I was super close to my grandmother she raised me).. I truly don't understand why my mother stays married to you because you don't deserve her.. I told her if I was in that situation in my marriage I would 100% LEAVE I do not care.. sickness or health no! Nobody signs up to walk on eggshells because my mom doesn't want to set you off, well guess what I do not care if I set you off or upset you because all of this is the truth.! You left me when I needed your presence in my life I still do but I absolutely refuse to watch you hurt yourself etc. Bye I lost you a long time ago to the bottle and it shows who you truly care about Yourself!

Sincerely,

A daughter wishing for her kids grandpop to get healthy but that wont happen....

I miss you dad until some day in the long future 😓