I’m worried about having children with my boyfriend although I love him a lot I keep asking myself do I wait until after his father dies or do I just have children and keep them from their grandparents.

My boyfriend told me for the first time in the two years that I have known him that his father touched him as a child and also allowed both his chauffeur and body guard touch him too.

Ever since I have known him he hated talking to his father over the phone. He only ever talked to his mother and whenever his father would get on the phone he would go silent and say in his native tongue “put mom on the phone”.

I have never met his parents since they live in a different country and when his parents came to visit him he would only tell me of his interactions with his mom. I would ask him how his father felt and he would say “bro idk i dont talk to him” I used to think he hated his father for the other shitty reasons he told me about. (His father has 3 mistresses and bought his favorite a house and the other two luxury apartments)

Also his mother and his older sisters dont know about what happened to him. I asked him why he never told them and he just just didn’t want to make his mother even more sad than she already is being with this man. In their culture divorce is never even a last result. So he would feel mortified if his mother stayed with him even after knowing so he wants to be on the safe side.

His parents had him pretty late in life they are around their mid 60’s and the both of us are 20 and 22 I figured maybe he would die sooner rather than later but i personally want to have children when I’m around 27-32 but once I have them what should I do?

It sounds weird to ask so soon and I know most people reading this are going to say you are so young you guys might not be together in 3 years. But I would rather not deliberate on this months before I give birth. Anything is possible please just assume we will be together. It is constantly in the back of my mind. I dont even know how to act when I first meet the man. Do I act cold and off-putting or do I act fake as hell and smile and be overly nice?

EDIT: his Father is a pediatrician ... let that sink in