Okay this rant might be a lil long but I just had to let it out. But My husband and I have been married for three years. We have a 2 year old and Im also pregnant w/ our second child. We got married pretty fast but at the time he seemed 100% sure he wanted for us to get married. As time passed by we found out we were gonna have our first. And the first 6-7 months of our marriage was all love. He’d spoil me, he’d tell me how much he loved me and he’d always want to cuddle with me. But then he showed his real self on thanksgiving... he got so drunk at a family event that the smallest thing i did or said would set him off he started calling me a bitch. I didn’t overthink it bc I never saw him act that way but then came Christmas and he got too drunk to drive again. Then my birthday and he still got drunk and acted like a fool on my special day. So on he just started becoming a different person. Finally the birth of our daughter came on July 2018 and everything was back to normal, he was helping and caring but then again everything went back to him drinking and putting me through hell. Finally we separated after June2019 and once August came he cried and begged for me to move back in with him. He promised to stop drinking and putting me through hell and that he would never be that abusive person. I didn’t wanna move back but he started showing up in the middle of the nights and kept crying to me to take him back. I finally did after about a month and agin everything was as perfect as it could be. No more drinking no more leaving me to do everything on my own. He helped me clean and take care of our daughter. But now again we’re in May 2020 and he’s back to drinking daily and picking arguments or being an asshole for no reason. I start feeling this pettiness come out of me and before i get so mad and go off i ask him to just be a grown up and talk things out and tell me the truth bc it seems like he wants to do himself again. He finally admits and says that there’s no love he feels for me. That he only wanted me back for our daughter. Im pregnant w/ our second kid so I just don’t understand how “men” act like this. Like you made me feel like there’s something wrong with me or like I don’t do enough for you and that’s why you’re so mean to me and tell me Im crazy when all along you don’t want anything to do with me. Hearing that made me question everything to why get me pregnant again if you don’t feel the same about me? Or how do you kiss and have sec with that person you claim have no love for. How do you lie and tell a person I love you when you don’t. Im so used to all this pain this time I didn’t even cry to him and asked why I’m not enough. Im young and I sacrificed so much for him and my kid and it goes unnoticed. I feel so stupid and wonder if it’s because I gained weight with the pregnancies that he doesn’t want me anymore or because Im not as pretty as I was when he met me. I just wish he never would’ve been so cruel and lied about loving me just to have our daughter living under the same roof. He still wants us to coparent together in the same roof for both babies but I don’t think it’s possible without trying to play me again.