You know what I’ve learned about helping family ... you don’t ! ⚠️ LONG ⚠️

I’m just so fed up with my family. I can’t stand them they are liars and they point fingers at everyone else’s wrongs but their own. I don’t even talk to my family an yet they still always have to have something to say. Example: apparently someone I’m friends with is also friends with my cousin she didn’t find out until recently when my cousin asked her how she knew me. She told her she doesn’t talk to me because she was mad at me, they are so up and down that they get mad at everything anyways nothing new. But she went on to say she was mad at me because I was “on drugs and tried to get her little brother to party with me” I was never aware that she was mad because of this reason and tbh this reason is bullshit because I’ve never not once even asked my younger cousins to come party with me for many reasons 1 being the main reason I was 21 an they were teenagers!! Like I’m not fucken stupid another reason yes I was doing bad but I never ever brought anyone else down with me I got into it with my older cousin who was bar hopping with me at the time because she wanted to be adventurous. Those were my own stupid choices I made when I turned 21 I would never and have never not once offered or tried to get someone into doing anything that I was doing. Anyways fast forward it’s been 3 years since I stopped partying specifically 9 months after turning 22 I’m currently 25 going to be 26 I completely stopped an was sick of it I worked hard , sobered up and focused on money an my health it was easy to stop since I was tired of it already. and now have a family with a better relationship an better friends an I’m not an addict so I don’t crave or nothing like that I was just a young stupid party girl that wanted to try dumb shit at the time an let a guy convince me it was fun. Anyways it just makes me so upset because I have always been that one that they call the bad influence or no good etc .. an I can honestly say I did like 2 bad things in high school an the rest of the time I literally stayed home on YouTube I didn’t party or smoke or drink or any of the things my family an friends were into at the time. So they still continue to sit there and point fingers an wanna talk about me even tho I have done nothing wrong but try an be a good mother an fiancé an worry about my family I have helped them out sooo much an I think the most fucked up part of all is that my mom passed away when I was 18 an I didn’t have anyone so when I got “closer” to my cousins it was helping me to just feel better an slow down but they used me an then cut me off an now I find out this bullshit ass reason like are you serious. It hurts so much but I should have known the sad part is the only time I would see her younger brother is when I would wake up an take him to school an pick him up because his mom couldn’t an that was recently I was already 23-24 years old with my child that was the first an only time I have ever hung out with him or even talked to him other than hugging him an saying hi when I went to his moms house. Idk it’s crazy but I can name a bunch of stuff that her an her mom and her sister an her brothers have all done wrong but I don’t. I hate being the black sheep of the family all my family are or were tweakers so i don’t get how they have any room to judge an her daughter was never into drugs as far as I know but she was into hooking up with guys at house party’s when we were in our teens so I don’t get how that’s any better I can own up to my wrongs because I spend everyday trying to make them right an trying to be a good mother to my children I’m done bending over backwards for “family” who just uses you an cuts you off or talks shit about you. Personally I don’t understand why tf she didn’t even tell me anything she acted like she didn’t even know me when I ran into her at the store she turned the other way and kept walking that hurt the most out of the everything because I had my daughter an she had her son they never met before an never will I guess. Instead of talking to me they chose to treat me like shit until I stopped coming around nobody ever told me or brought anything up an I know I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my past but I never would do something like that I don’t talk to any family at all sometimes a cousin here an there but I don’t see them or anything I really feel alone an I’ve felt this all my life except