Sorry for the long post but I want you guys to get a good idea of what I'm going through to help me determine if I'm being dramatic or if my friends is in the wrong.

Going to call my friend L. We've been friends since high school when I transferred to her school my junior year so that's about 13 years. Generally talk on the phone for over an hour almost every day.

-My husband and I have 2 boys and 6 & 1.5. After my 1.5 year old was born we decided to just use condoms instead of getting on birth control. Never actively trying to conceive but sometimes we wouldn't use a condom.

-So my friend L has a 4 year old boy and just got married to her baby daddy in September and they have been trying to get pregnant. She got her nexplanon taken out several months before her wedding.

-We both wanted girls soooo badly and ended up with boys.

-so while trying to get pregnant she kept getting negative tests and I was there for her for each one, I know how much it hurts to not get pregnant when you're really trying.

-I was telling her how she should try to live a healthier lifestyle to help her body create a better environment for a baby by taking prenatal vitamins (I gave her an unopened bottle I got from Walgreens when they had a sale & gave her a ton of my husband's multivitamin for her husband), to stop smoking or at least cut back cut back, stop drinking so much coffee and energy drinks, she used to work at McDonald's and would have coffee all day. She will generally drink 10-12 cups a day and 1-2 energy drinks on top of that

-beginning of December my husband and I had his cousin, his gf and their new baby over. My husband got caught up in his feelings about the tiny baby and that night we had unprotected sex. Immediately after I went to the bathroom and we talked things over after the moment passed saying how it wouldn't be the right time, our youngest had just turned 1 and was a handful (still is lol) and I wanted to get a puppy in the spring.

-Well right after new years I found out I was pregnant, due September 1st and told L, she wasn't happy about it. Very caught up in her negative tests. Which I understand the hurt, when we were trying to conceive our 1.5 yo another of my friends who never wanted children got pregnant

-this has been a really rough pregnancy on me, constantly Puking and nauseated, horrible heartburn (which I did have with the boys as well), food just tastes disgusting to me

-End of March and L found out she was finally pregnant and due in December!

-Mid-April I had my anatomy scan and the tech told me baby was small but I didn't think much of it because she didn't make it out to be a big deal and I found out I was having a girl so I figured she was just petite

-I was so excited and just flabbergasted (my husband's side of the family has only been males for generations) when I told my friend L she was again not excited or happy for me, she told me she'd need time to accept it because she was jealous and needed to process her feelings about it

-I got a call from my doctor the following week saying at my next appointment, about a month later, they were going to do another scan because baby was measuring small and they wanted to make sure everything was okay

-tried talking to L about it because that's kind of scary, she was again jealous because I was getting another scan

-my appointment comes, the doctor did more scans and said that at my 20 week appointment baby wasn't even showing up on the growth chart, a month later and her body is in the 3rd percentile and her head size still isn't even on the chart. Now they're sending me to a specialist for more scans because that's abnormal.

-at this point L and I were barely talking because she didn't like whenever I'd talk about my baby because she was still in jealous mode over me having a girl, and when we tried to talk about other things it just seemed forced and awkward. And Tbh I didn't need the extra anxiety and hurt feelings I'd always have after our calls so I wasn't reaching out.

-5 days later somebody at the specialist canceled their appointment so I got their time and went in. The doctor did more scans and said my baby girl was at risk of Microcephaly, until now I'd never had any experience with that disease /disorder except American horror story Freakshow, the character pinhead pepper. So at this point I'm cryyyyying in my appointment, with my husband on video call and the doctor steps out and comes back a few minutes later and does more scans. Says that they aren't going to diagnose her because she's only 1 standard deviation away from being on the growth chart. If she was 3 away then at that point they would diagnose her. At the end of the appointment he made some fake measurements on the machine and said this is where your daughter is x, if she grows this much (a teeny tiny amount) and ends up at y she would be in the 50th percentile. That made us feel sooooo much better and more relieved! He still wanted to see me back in 3 weeks to check her growth again so that's coming up on the 10th.

-I reached out to L about it and she did seem happy that baby wasnt diagnosed. But we still weren't talking regularly

-I reached out to my other friend who got pregnant accidentally (and with a girl) the same time I was trying to conceive years ago and asked her if I was over reacting or if she thought L was being ridiculous. When she was pregnant and I was trying I WAS jealous it happened to her when she actively did not want to have children, but she said I never made her feel bad or awkward about it, how she could tell I was still very excited for her and always they're for her. And when she found out she was having a girl and told me, I did straight up tell her I was jealous but not in a mean way (by that time we knew I was pregnant but didn't know what I was having yet because she was a month ahead of me). We even joked she hijacked my pregnancy because she was due end of October with a baby girl and I told her if she had her baby on Halloween I was going to steal it and she could have my baby. So all in all my other friend was saying how L is being crazy and rude about all of this and she shouldn't even be this mad at me because she still has no idea what she's even having yet and won't until like late july/August! She could be having a girl too and just spent months being mad and grumpy at me over something I can't even control

-to top it off anytime we disagree on things going on in the world she'll cut me off for several days. For instance: she was complaining about having to pick up extra shifts at work because several people suddenly quit because of an outbreak in their facility of covid-19. More than 20 people came down with it and I told her that yeah as a pregnant woman, a mother of young children and a husband with a compromised immune system I'd quit or take a leave of absence too. She got mad and hung up and I hadn't talked to her in over a week.

So thanks for reading, if you could leave me some feedback I'd greatly appreciate it. Her friendship under normal circumstances means a lot to me but I'm wondering if it's time to end it based on how she acting or if I'm just being hormonal and taking things too personally

Dear America

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