Has my husband even thought about my feeling?

I write this post today because I’m tired of what happens to my life now.

My husband and I been married for almost a year now. He has brain injury that was completely ok to me at the first year we were dating. Now, he lost his job. He gets mad at me for no reasons. I am the one working 60 hours a week and pay for most of things in the house. He brings stress to me, yell at me and talk bad things about my family and the past. My family loves him and they never think anything bad about him; but he always has it on his mind that my family doesn’t love him.

Now I’m on the 1st trimester of pregnancy and I’m tired all the time. The morning sickness happens to me at night, not in the morning so that after work I always and always exhausted. He wants to have sex with me. I tell him to not do it hard, everything must be gentle. Seems like he doesn’t care, I keep telling him to be careful during having sex. Sometimes I’m too tired and I need to sleep, I tell him we will not have sex today... then he gets mad at me, so so bad, he’s addictive to sex. He forces me to do it and sometimes I feel like I’m crying inside of me.

These couple days he keeps asking me if the Baby inside my belly is his. I’m shocked to death Who can say that to their wife if he knows my work schedule and I’m a loyal person in marriage. I cry a lot, cry like I can make my tears to the river. I know it’s not good for the baby if I keep being sad and crying like this.

Yesterday I found out on his iPad that He watched porn behind me when I say no to not have sex with him on the days. I feel so useless and disappointed about me. My family told me that he won’t be a good father if he keeps asking me to have sex with him and not responsible to the baby. My sister told me that my family will help me to raise the baby and we don’t need any helps from him. I’m writing this with my tears falling down again. I love him but what I can do if he just wants to have sex and think about sex only?