Lgbtq+ black person

Hello. I am thirteen years old, black, and I identify as pansexual. For a while I have been thinking about my gender identity, but it’s been scary. The black community is extremely harsh on those part of the lgbtq+ community so I’ve been ignoring everything. I’ve just been telling myself that the media has changed my way of thinking and that I’m just trying to be like everybody else. I think I’m starting to believe it. If I never saw all if those videos about gender identity, I never would have put that sometimes boy sometimes girl thing in my head. I don’t want to believe it, but I kind of do. I don’t want to identify any differently because I’m just scared of what others will think of me. All of that be yourself stuff doesn’t work in this situation because I don’t even know what I am. Maybe I’m just stupid. I don’t even know if this makes sense, but I’m hoping that somebody will respond to this knowing what to say. I’ve tried to talk to some friends of mine, but they are also thirteen.. So that was stupid. Is there anybody out there that has experienced this stuff or specializes in stuff like this? I would really appreciate your help. Thank you.