Can't get over my husbands kinks

My husband have been married for seven years, we have two children. I thought everything was good and all, but a few days ago he sat me down to talk and he explained how he wasn't happy with our sex life, and started telling me about his kinks. I had absolutely no clue and I was shocked!

I was sexually abused/ raped in the past and he's apparently into being dominant, pulling hair, "face fucking", "facials", bdsm, making the girl scream and beg, etc. I've been in therapy and I'm as "over" the abuse I can be, but his kinks I would never be able to do because that would be like reliving it all again . He doesn't demand it of course, he just asked for it. But I'm so shocked and ever since I can't help but look at him differently. I feel like I don't even know him anymore. I can't understand why he'd want to humiliate me like that. I don't understand how he can see that as loving. I want to understand and not kink-shame, but ever since he told me I've avoided sex because it just feels awkward and uncomfortable now.