Wondering if I'm alone with this?

So I've been wanting to have another child for a while now. We were trying for quite some time had two MC in 2019 and then I got "sick" in December which needed me to stop TTC and focus on myself and also getting diagnosed to see if pregnancy is something I can even do right now. In early march I was finally diagnosed and got the go ahead for TTC (although still slightly struggling with this chronic illness I'll now forever have, but now it's better controlled now and won't affect pregnancy or my capabilities of parenting).

Anyway, I was bugging hubby about when we'd start trying again since march and I couldn't get him to have a serious conversation. Maybe he wasn't sure himself yet?

We finally had the conversation we needed and he is scared of the impact this pandemic might have on a pregnancy and the treatment we get during a pregnancy. This will be our last pregnancy (I had 3 csections already and my doctor advised me to not have more than 4). He wants to obviously be a part of the pregnancy, come to ultrasounds and midwife appointments and include the children as well. And right now that wouldn't be possible. I think that's really sweet and I absolutely respect that and I'm okay with waiting so we can both enjoy this last pregnancy together. But I'm also super sad we have to postpone without a fixed date in mind. Nobody knows how long this pandemic will take and how or if it'll fully end. I'm here now thinking I might have to wait another year, maybe longer.

I know there's so much going on in this world and I should be worried about other things (and I am, I have people in my immediate family that could die from the virus and my family are people of colour, my eldest daughter is black. So I get all the feels about everything going on in this world. But I'm also a woman that wants another child and I'm hurting. So please don't judge me for being human)