Hi lady friends..

I’ve been in my mind for a few days now.. and I need to talk to someone.. I need advice.

My so I thought to be boyfriend.. and I have been together for about 7 years on and off. We’ve had our rough patches.

We were started just being friends with benefits, eventually started hanging out , going on dates.. and then it started getting serious. We said I love you. He met my family, (3 girls from previous marriage) and mom and siblings. I met his mom and siblings. We would all hang out. Good times. So I thought.

So we never really made it official, this is where the on and off comes in place.. he would give me the silent treatment at times, or find a reason to be angry at me.. and then Ghost me. I figured he needed his time to himself. I would be hurt.. because he would push me away when all I was to him was respectful, loving and honestly .. I treated him like a husband. I was confused why he acted like that.. then randomly he would reach out and text.. sorry and wanted to meet up. And there I went again.. like if nothing happened .. why because I loved him. .. In the back of my head I knew This was a toxic relationship.. but I w ates to keep trying for us.. I wanted him in my future and in my life..

Two years ago.. A woman reached out to me.. apparently he was with her that night.. when he told me he went to his moms.. well.. he wasn’t at his moms. He had spent the night with her.. apparently both got drunk and he got caught. she found out he was with me. She got angry stole his phone and she started sending me all their sex videos they recorded .. pictures of themselves kissing hanging out, having dates.. like.. I was so heart broken.

She also told me.. they were together for years and were living together. Like how blind was I?!! I couldn’t believe it.

She also said she was pregnant. And I should back off.

I was in shock and hurt. I did. I stopped communicating with him So they can make their life’s for the child’s life.

Well he kept texting wanting to tel me she’s crazy he doesn’t want to be with her etc. After all this drama.. a few months passed, he reached out and said he’s not with her anymore .. she had lost the baby and wants to be with me.

I forgave him and was hopeful we would work out our problems. Even after we never again made it official even after voicing out my wants and needs from him. He was straight with me and said he didn’t want a relationship. But we kept seeing each other as if we did have one. Me visiting his mother , cooking at her place..

fast forward to today .. a few days ago I found out I’m pregnant. He knows and is skeptical .. he said to wait until the first trimester passes because miscarriages can happen especially with woman my age.. I’m 36.. so he doesn’t want this to be official even tho I peed on the stick twice. Anyways.. we have been looking at places to buy.. he wants to get a home with me and my kids.. all seem very hopeful and was super happy. Just the other day that woman messaged me through social media , I don’t know how she found my information.. but she did. She sent me a picture of a pregnancy test.. she said he got her pregnant and that they never stopped taking. She told me to back off and she knew I was pregnant. She said he proposed to her and she knew all his family

Members and that they knew of her. I was shocked and hurt. Speechless to be honest. I was embarrassed to be found in this predicament.

I blocked him from everything and disabled my social media. He has not tried to contact me. I know I blocked his number but He has not tried to contact me. I mean.. he can easily make his phone private .. and his call can come through.. or leave a voice message .. But nothing. Like I don’t matter.. like the baby I carry doesnt matter.. I fee like they are now together and laughing at me.

Now I’m pregnant and none of my family knows because First of all they don’t like him because of what happened a few years ago. And now this!?

Part of me wants to have the baby and part of me doesn’t. I’m so confused.

I am hurt and need advice.. sorry it’s so long.. just need help to figure this out.