Second pregnancy woes...

Y’all. This pregnancy has been so hard. Sickness. Exhaustion. Loneliness. Quarantine. I’m not in a good place mentally. I’m happy to be pregnant but it’s all the other stuff I’m dreading. All I remember from showers and the gender reveal with my first is all the people that didn’t show up for me. So I don’t want to do them. I don’t think I can expose myself to those hard feelings again. But then I’m disappointing people. My anxiety is in overdrive. Can anyone talk to me about second pregnancy issues? Am I alone?