Hi ladies-

First I’d like to thank you all in advance for reading. I didn’t know where else to turn.

My son turns 1 on Monday and I’m a emotional wreck. I can’t put my finger on it, but I’m just so upset. Anyone else like this?

-Maybe it’s because I’m worried with what’s going on in the world right now?

-Maybe it’s because I’m scared to put him back in daycare after COVID?

-Maybe I’m upset he’s moving onto a new daycare room in the middle of this chaos?

-Maybe because he’s more independent and I’m slowly “losing” him not being with me all the time?

-Maybe because I should’ve been more present and appreciated all the tough and overwhelming times when he was an infant?

-Maybe I’m scared I’m not a good mother?

-Maybe there’s been so much change at home, at my job, in my relationships, and with my own routine and identity during COVID?

-Maybe I’m angry we had to cancel his first birthday party because of COVID?

-Maybe I’m angry our families missed seeing him grow up during COVID?

-Maybe I’m finding it hard to accept my husband didn’t enjoy raising an infant and likely doesn’t want more children?

-Maybe I’m afraid for my son to grow up as an only child and eventually be faced with taking care of two “older than usual” parents?

I’m so overwhelmingly sad leading up to his birthday. Please tell me I’m not alone ❤️