Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? How do you cope with healing?

Question

Hey ladies,
You all are so supportive and seem like great help, so maybe this will help me.
I was in an abusive relationship that ended 7 years ago. We were together for two years, but I was young when I met him before we got together (I was 15 and he was 22). So I was definitely groomed. 
Fast forward, I left that toxic, horrible relationship and moved on with my life. I'm now happily married to an absolutely amazing man and we have a beautiful 4 month old together. 
Sometimes I have days where I get horrible flashbacks and memories of my abuse. He was mentally physically and emotionally abusive. 
Some nights I have nightmares, literal nightmares where I wake up in cold sweats or in tears because I dreamt either that he came back in my life and I was forced to be with him or something along those lines. It ruins my whole day, those nightmares. 
My husband thinks I have minor PTSD (even after 7 years) because he said getting nightmares like that still is not normal. He thinks I should see a therapist to talk about it as I've never really talked about my abuse. Does anyone have any experience with this? How do you cope?

Answer

I recommend seeing a therapist.
I spent 4 yrs in an abusive relationship then jumped into a second 7 yr abusive  relationship and have been free for 5 yrs now. I still have flashbacks and certain triggers (financial control is a huge one! I must have access to my money or I panic). I also have nightmares still and if I see someone who looks like my ex on the street my heart stops. 
Unfortunately, my second ex was a therapist so I have a terrible time trusting them, but logically I know an ethical therapist is an amazing help. It's a long road to travel! Hugs and best wishes!

Answer

It sounds like you may have PTSD. Which is common after years of abuse. 
I was in a 5 year relationship with a toxic narcissist, and left him over a year ago. 
I’m currently in therapy. The relationship definitely took a toll on my mental health and I needed some one to talk to who understands abuse. I had nightmares too so i understand what that feels like. 
Message me if you need advice. I would definitely look into therapy. ♥️

Answer

I feel this, I feel I’m in a very similar situation, I met my husband at 16 and he was 19, we’ve been together 9 years and he has been emotionally and sometimes physically abusive but I didn’t see it until recently, but I’ve been having constant flash backs of all of the bad times, to the point where I’m having anxiety attacks thinking about it. I have a bad childhood as well and have nightmares from that too. I would recommend seeing a therapist (which is what I plan to do) and write it down. For some reason I find that when I write down the emotions I’m going through when the flashbacks hit it helps, it’s like transferring them from your mind to paper and it helps put me at ease. I hope it helps for you as well. 
Side note I’m glad to read that your not with that man anymore and better yet have found a good husband. I hope that I’m able reach that point someday.

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? How do you cope with healing?

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