i’m gonna ask that y’all don’t come at me when i mention my age because A LOT of thought+precaution has gone into this. i take this very seriously, even though people say virginity is just a social construct. please be nice. also i’m sorry for posting TMI stuff but i don’t have any female friends so i have no one else to tell 🙃😂

so i’m 17 and today me and my boyfriend of about a year and a half had sex. ahh!! lols.

(before i go on: please don’t tell me i’m too young. i’ve been doing sexual stuff since i was 15 and it took SO MUCH consideration to decide to do this. it wasn’t irresponsible. it was very planned, for a long time. i made sure it was with someone i 1000% trusted and he would do anything for me. i made sure it wouldn’t be a regrettable short relationship either, i waited A YEAR AND A HALF into our relationship! and we were as safe as physically possible!)

we had tried once or twice before but he couldn’t get all the way in and it was too painful and i didn’t wanna keep trying so i don’t count those tries. i was definitely nervous but it was so much better than i thought it was gonna be! of course it hurt at first but i managed and he got all the way in! i had assumed it would be all pain no gain but it was actually quite good! the very first time we tried though i got upset afterwards because i felt kinda guilty. i had always been taught you shouldn’t have sex until you’re much older and if you do you’re irresponsible and a bad kid and a slut etc etc. the very first time we tried i directed my anger and confused feelings at my boyfriend after (for things that weren’t his fault) because he had had sex before me so he wasn’t going through the same thing i was/didn’t understand yk? and i felt like it was unfair that he enjoyed it and i was in pain and upset and stuff. i felt wrong the first time but luckily as time passed i got over that feeling and right now i’m feeling a bit insecure and a little anxious but overall okay!! i felt good afterwards too i was happy :). so if anyone could tell me: is it normal to feel the way i did emotionally that first time a bit back?

i’m sorry i rambled quite a bit here, just needed to tell someone😂 if y’all could give some positivity or tips i’d appreciate it :)