I dont know what to do anymore...

I've been married to my husband going on 5 years now we got married when I was 20.. he was my best friend we were so close and we got along so good it would of blown your mind. Then it all came crashing down when my brother was murdered and a month to the day later his sister passed away she was also my best friend and my brother was close with my husband... Sparing the horrific details of everything that followed their deaths including the funerals and the whole 2 years after... the only way I can describe that time was evil, dark, hopeless and lonely.. My husband started treating me like I don't know... like I was less then human... like a piece of garbage he could just throw away like I was easily replaceable. He became emotionally, physically, and mentally abusive to me... He constantly Is gas lighting me.. I already suffer from severe PTSD and severe clinical depression... I have had suicidal tendencies in the past.. I'm also a mother of 2 beautiful little girls and because of them I would never take my own life. But now with the background on my mental health.. when I get depressed it's really really bad.. like I'm not gonna kill myself but I'm just gonna stay in bed and not eat sleep use the bathroom shower talk or function...to add to my mess of a life I'm a stay at home mom with no job or income of my own I have no access to the money . Get this it's my husband and his freakn mom on our account well I guess his account... but still I cant even go to the grocery store or if an emergency comes up I'm fucked I have no money to get amywhere... im scared if something happens amd my child hurts themselves what would I do !! On top of that I'm isolated in a mountain where my homes located there is a population of like 20 if you count the animals in my town.... the closest to a city is an hour and 15 minutes away if you drive fast..... I was offered a job working from home recently and my husband refused to let me take it and i need his money to buy some equipment in order to work amd he wouldn't do it. So I have no way to save money to move out or get away.... I'm just so stuck and I dont know what to do... I'm not looking for anyone's sympathy I know I got myself into this marriage and I'm the only one who can get me out..... I'm just looking for suggestions or advice ... if you have any please it would be appreciated ...