This has been a long month.... found out i was pregnant on mother’s day at 11dpo. went for my first ultrasound on may 29 going off Lmp i should have been 6weeks. well we only saw a yolk sac (i didn’t get a picture)and it was ok then cause i have a longer cycle and ovulate later. so i went back 4 days later on june 3 and this was my ultrasound....

yolk sac with a little fetal pole starting. so i was asked to come back june 8th....

we saw a tiny bubble baby measuring 5.6 with a little flicker (doctor said it looked a little slow but couldn’t really measure it) so he asked me to come back june 16.

this time we saw a little something with a flicker it was slow even i could see. it he couldn’t even get the machine to pick up any sound or rhythm so he just counted and we got about 72 BPM. so he just said he can’t say what will happen and he would see me in about a week. on june 22... that whole week i read about slow heart rate and yes there are successes stories, but i jus tones in my heart to be prepared and it was going to end well... so june 22

baby was measuring 6.1 with a very slow heartbeat so doctor says he really believes this is not a viable pregnancy since it’s been about 4 weeks since he first saw me and the baby hasn’t grown much and the heart rate so slow...

they wanted to schedule me this wednesday for and D&C and i would have been ok with that but it the day before my son and i birthday he will be two and i didn’t want to have any complication interfere with celebrating his day so they will call me today to schedule something ....

this will my my 4th loss but my last loss was almost 8 years ago, before my second daughter who will be 7 and we had a son in 2018 .. i thought we where food but i guess it happens...