Depressed

I'm so depressed.. I finally got my positive ovulation test the 15th of this montj got my egg raw white discharge.. bought pre-seed to help to only be let down when i wiped and saw brown mixed with pink blood on it. my period isn't due till next week. then i wipe again and dark red blood with some little clots.. My heart is just broken.. I feel like I'm broken i keep breaking my own heart idk what to do

my husband was like we can just adopt. It's not the same it's just not it's been about a year TTC already and in just about ready to really give up... I feel hopeless and worthless honestly idk what to do. Everyone i mean EVERYONE seems

to get pregnant but me some people i know are already on their second child.

I'm just discusted with myself at this point i hate looking at myself sometimes. it's getting worse each time