I’m at a loss with my marriage. I’ve asked for a divorce several times. I would do anything to keep our marriage but I feel like it is very one sided (me trying). I am positive, open, independent, and want to be with someone who is a true partner. My husband is negative, sensitive, moody, private, and comes from a man tells woman kind of household. My family is very open, complimentary, and close. His family is opposite, they don’t hug, they think you need to solve your shit without help kind of family, and could all benefit from an anger management lesson. His younger brothers are all over the place right now and the middle one is relying on us a lot which causes him stress, but he and I both know we need to be there and don’t mind until he is in a better place. We are self employed and corona made our business close for a month when we just signed a new lease 3x the price of our current one and hired an employee so now instead of celebrating..we are now lucky if we stay open another 3 months. He will never take my advice on what to do and he is unmotivated/unwilling to do everything to change the situation, while I am opposite. I want to get us back to where we were and further and I know he does but instead of saddling up, he is giving up. It’s frustrating because I gave up my career path to help him and now he doesn’t want me to get a job or do anything to get us out of debt. I feel controlled and helpless. He refuses to go to a therapist, he refuses to talk to me, and he refuses to be a better husband. He is rude to me all the time. Today on the way home I asked if he had a good day, he replied “I guess” so I asked if something was upsetting him or if he needed to talk and he snapped at me “we’ve had this conversation 20 times.” Which I don’t deserve at all. I was trying to be comforting, a good partner, and listening ear. I told him this and all he said was how he didn’t want to talk and started to put me down. I don’t get it. Why do I deserve this? I’ve given up so much and tried to learn to be a better partner and be understanding/supportive. One day he is all over me and in love and we’re so happy and the next he is a straight asshole. I don’t get what to do. Do I finally get the guts to leave and find someone who will love me the way I deserve and want or stay fighting for this guy I’ve given everything to change and get out of this dark place. I just worry since he isn’t confiding in me now then will he ever? I don’t understand his anger towards me...I feel unwanted, unloved, unliked and so much more. I want out of this sh*t hole, but I love him and only want the best for him. I almost download tinder tonight just to see if other guys would even date me but I just stared at the screen for 5 minutes. I didn’t download it and feel guilty and know how much that would hurt him. If my dad knew half of how he has treated me I feel like he would be so disappointed. My family is coming soon and I am wondering if I should leave with them..we’ve been together for 5 years and I’m just over chances and being mom to an adult.