Final child and so disappointed.

To start off I had an emergancy c section with my first that had problems healing so I will most lily have to have another one, I have EXTREMELY HARD pregnancy’s where I puke all day for days and can’t get out of bed even on medication, and I really only wanted one child. So this baby will 99% be our last. Anyways this pregnancy was a surprise and I really wanted a girl. More then anything I wanted a girl. I wanted to be able to do all the fun girly things with her. I didn’t expect to feel so DEEPLY saddened when I found out it is a boy. I feel disconnected. I am happy he’s healthy and I wouldn’t want to lose him but I’m so so sad and heartbroken he’s not a she...I can’t stop crying. Just knowing that a girl will most likely never happen since we aren’t having more children is really getting to me. I feel mad at myself that I feel this sad. How did you combat your gender disappointment? I want to feel excited about everything. I wasn’t thrilled to be pregnant again in the first place but I came to terms with it really quickly but I just don’t know how to get myself excited again.