UPDATE Adult kid/parents pushing their 'kids' to grow

*UPDATE UPDATE*

LONG READ. HELP PLEASE!! So I'm 22 Ive been living with my step mom and dad for the past 10 months till I can get on my feet. IM MOVING OUT NEXT 2 WEEKs! YAYY!

Since i moved in they've been helping me a lot with getting a car payment and everything. I'm extreamly greaful for the place to stay and the opportunity.

however..my step mom is basically a tiger mom and shes also passive aggressive/manipulative/belittles/is condencending and lies.

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Theyre saying im not using my full potential and not being successful enough. Just in the past 10 months I've gotten a creddit card, a car payment and a full time job AND im in colledge part time. But "its still not enough" because being in school part time ill graduate later vs if I was in school full time.

The problem is: When my step mom "helps" people she basically takes over and dictates. She even goes as far as saying that my growth rate is to slow. "Im not where I should be in life" This sets near impossible standards and makes me feel like shit when I can't reach them with in the time span given. I try to point out the fact shes manipulative but by the time I do shes already persuaded dad to her side of the story.

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My question: is it okay for parents of adults to PUSH the adult into growing? And if they are allowed to push the adult; are they allowed to say weather or not the adult is growing to "slow". In terms of success.

Or

Should the adult be able to set boundaries as to how far they want to grow and the rate at which they grow?

(By push i mean, strict parenting)

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so we all argued the other day. Then today my dad texted me this. (My mother is a stubborn headed recovered heroin addict BTW) I do have her characteristics..but it hurts for him to say I'm turning out like her.