Hello ladies,

I was hesitant to post because it’s kinda long.. but I’m killing myself inside. Back in 2015 (18yo) I had my first pregnancy with twins and every week I was in the Er followed by the doctor due to bleeding and cramping. I told my obgyn every single week something wasn’t right and that it was only when I was working (nursing home with heavy lifting) and every time he would tell me I’m fine everything fine. Tell me to take it easy that I didn’t need to be off work and that I shouldn’t be bleeding while at work because “your mucous plug is in place that’s not possible. I’ve been in this field since before you were born. I know what I’m doing” then the following week I went in and found out I lost both of them and all he had to say was “these things just happen and you never know when to expect it” I was at the very end of my first trimester when it happened. I’m now 6 weeks and 2 days (went with a different doctor) my first appointment is tomorrow and I’m terrified. Every day I look forward to the vomiting and fatigue just to feel kinda okay. I think about my last pregnancy every day and I keep trying to put all of it out of my head but it seems impossible. Is anybody else going through the same kind of fear and anxiety. Like I wish I could be hooked up to an ultrasound all day just to make sure my little peanut is still okay.