Insecurities after 2 ectopic pregnancies and a tube removal

The insecurities of not being able to bare a child are extreme. I feel like I was made no, bred to be a mother, by raising my siblings being taught how to change a diaper how to feed burp and give them proper medical attention is all I’ve ever know. Why does it feel like I’m nothing unless I can have a baby and give it a life to look forward to. Yeah everyone says it’s ok you don’t need a baby to have a good life but what if I do. That’s all I’ve ever thought about my entire life. I never had those thoughts as a young girl would have on how their wedding would be I didn’t plan every single detail. The thoughts I had were of how my baby would look or how much I would feed it so it would be the cutest chubby baby. Nobody understands how I feel. I want to care I want to nurture. They keep saying it’s ok but it’s not because it’s not them, they aren’t going through this struggle most of them have a kid already one baby is a damn blessing! Others haven’t even thought twice about having one yet. But I have thought about a baby all my life. I’m so jealous of my baby sister that is 18 having a baby in a few months, she’s not ready for that but she’s getting the gift I’ve always wanted. Sometimes I think I waited too long but I’m only 28 right? How could I have waited too long? Did I not allow myself to settle could that have been it. Did I mess up my body by taking meds for depression,anxiety or even weight loss. The drs say I haven’t done anything wrong but why do I feel like that’s all I’ve done. I feel fucked up and I am.