2 Days old and SEVERELY ANXIOUS

I just had my daughter 2 days ago (07/02) and everything has been fine! Medically speaking her levels for the test they do for jaundice were like right on the threshold but they let us go home. Like I said EVERYTHING IS FINE!! I didn’t tear or get any hemorrhoids or anything. EVERYTHING IS FINE.

Our first night home, I finished a late feeding around 2:30-3 am and put her in her bassinet next to my bed. I laid there for less than 5 minutes and had worked myself into a panic attack because I was worried that I wouldn’t hear her if/when she woke up. So I picked her up and went to the living room and we laid on the couch until 7 am when my boyfriend got up for the day and could take care of her while I slept a little bit.

Today, everything was good. I got some sleep, and I wasn’t in any pain or anything. We had our first visitors. After they left, I literally just LOOKED at my daughter and burst into tears. I am so scared of something happening to her. I don’t want to put her in her swing, I don’t want to let my boyfriend hold her, I don’t want to lay her down to sleep. I don’t want to not hold her and I don’t want to take my eyes off of her.

She cries so softly and quietly unless she’s in pain, and even then it’s still so quiet. I need tips on how to let myself sleep or rest or even just let her be. I barely even use the bathroom because I don’t have anything to bring her in with me. I do have an appointment with a therapist on Monday but I need something NOW