So for my birthday this year (friday) all I want is for my body to properly work. Just once. I want to know I’m actually ovulating, I want to be able to trust what I am feeling as far as symptoms of pregnancy, I want to be a mother damnit. Why is it so freaking hard.

Do you ever find yourself asking what you did so wrong to deserve to struggle with infertility? Because SAME.

If my body isn’t gonna work right other than bleeding each month then what’s the point...Just to go on unfulfilled for the rest of time and watch everyone else just “accidentally” wind up pregnant then complain about having children when it’s literally the only thing I want in life. Why do I not deserve that chance.

Now, Cycle day 1 and I am absolutely broken. I am completely in disbelief that my body could be so cruel as to trick me into feeling like we actually made it happen. Y’all my cervix was soft after DPO 8....even got so high to the point of unreachable which is supposed to be a tell tale sign right? Well I guess not. I guess it’s a cruel trick my body can play on me.