Anorexia and Body Dysmorphia

I’ll never forget the day my dad pulled up my shirt when I was nine years old and rubbed my belly. He told me I was looking a little chunky.

I had an eating disorder at 12 and then at 15 when I got down to 100lbs. I kept trying to get below 100 because my mom always talked about weighing 92lbs when she got married.

I weighed myself all the time even after I drank water to see if it made me gain weight.

Now, at 22 y/o, I weight 146. (I’m 5’2.) I’ve gained ten pounds since moving two months ago. I’m so worried what the weight gain will do to my psyche. I moved to Florida so there is so much time spent in a swimsuit which I’m not sure is good for my mental health.

Earlier this year, I hardly drank water because I lost 50 pounds on keto and was scared I’d gain the weight back since a lot of it was water. I ended up severely dehydrated and had to go to the ER to get fluids. My heart rate was in the 150s and wouldn’t come down till I got the fluids. I also had a 102 temp. Both symptoms of dehydration.

Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this?

I need support, please.