I’m suicidal but to afraid to die

Recently ive just found my life to be absolutely worthless, at one point I had dreams and ambitions but now I’m totally numb to anything. I’ve lost all motivation in school and I sit and think about what I want my life to be like, I’m constantly unhappy with my body,relationships and everything to do with life. I’ve really been trying to change and finding the positives of life but I can’t find any.

I love my family so much and I have friends I wouldn’t change for the world but Idk how to tell them what I feel. I don’t want to die not even close I want to live I want to be someone, the thought of my family and friends having to live with what I’ve done is smth I can’t imagine doing to them. Really I need help I want to change but idk how, I’m really trying and I want to tell someone but I don’t want anyone to freak out.