Am I going to regret not having a baby?

Question

So I am 38 and I haven’t been in a stable relationship for quite some time (like almost 10 years) and I know my time is running out.  I’m in pretty good shape I honestly believe my body is still capable of surviving pregnancy but I feel like I’m still not financially stable enough to support a baby on my own, yet people do it every day. I’ve been passed up for jobs because the person next to me has a family and I don’t. So that makes me wonder if trying to be responsible was actually a huge mistake for me. I feel like I’ve missed out, like what happens when I get old, I’m just going to die totally alone, I know I have a lot to give but I also think it’s selfish of me to have a baby just because I want to be a mom. Does anybody else feel like this? I can’t be the only single who struggles with this right? I feel like life is passing me by because I didn’t find mr. right in time, and at this point I don’t think he’s coming.

Answer

I think if I were in your position... knowing what I know now about life... Id....
1. Focus on optimal health. If probably get blood work done etc. And focus on nutrition and keeping my body in the healthiest of states by exercise, diet, supplementation. And Id include a trainer and dietician.
2. Id start looking at what i truly want and what it would take to advance myself financially. 
3. Id put myself out there. The first two suggestions are probably bound to align u on the right path to meeting someone. What i mean is sometimes when we aim to improve ourselves we enter a space where our potential partners can be. Libraries, workshops, conferences, etc. And id also use online dating apps and see that first before trying to make a baby.

Answer

If you want to have a child, you don’t have to wait for the perfect man these days. Honestly, with as many shitty people and relationships out there, it may even be less difficult in some ways to be a single parent if you’re financially prepared for that, instead of dealing with a person who’s a terrible father/partner. If you want to have a child, have you considered adoption, fostering, or going to a sperm bank?

Answer

That's silly to be passed up for jobs. If anything childfree folks can devote way more time to their career than people with kids.

Answer

My aunt was always waiting for the right time, perfect man, perfect house she wanted her finances to be all in order but that time never came I honestly don't think there is a right time some people are just better prepared than others but I've never heard anyone say they regret having their child and have met plenty who say they regret not having them. My aunt is 40 now and won't even attempt to have children now she settles for marrying a man with children of his own so she's a step mom

Answer

You can always get a stable job and foster or adopt if you feel you can’t have kids of your own anymore.

Answer

I’m 41. Never been married. Never had kids. 2 miscarriages with my cheating ex of 5 years. Glad I never had kids with him or ever have to deal with him again. I’m in no rush to get married or have kids. If they happen then They do, if they don’t then they don’t. If I’m with someone that comes with kids that’s ok too. Growing up, I always thought by the time I’m 30 that I would have been married and a stay at home mom with 3 kids. Clearly I was not dealt that deck of cards. You can have kids until menopause. And there’s always surrogate, adoption, fostering or being the best aunt to your nieces and nephews like I am. I spoil those kids and I’m everyone’s favorite. Or a pet mother. I raised other people’s kids since I was 8 years old. Me nephew is 16 now but was born blind and autistic, he broke me of wanting kids in all honesty. The day that I literally had to drag him by his legs kicking and screaming out of the mall, that broke me. And I knew I didn’t want to have kids. I love kids and they love me. I’m like the baby whisperer. But my own may not be in the cards. That doesn’t make me selfish. If it happens then it does. If it doesn’t that’s ok too. I’m currently dating 2 men casually and both come with kids. I’m not in any rush to meet them etc. just taking slow for whoever long it may last. I know women feel like they are on a clock with kids and all but I have never felt the pressure. Life is less complicated. I’m free to do as I please. I have friends that always tell me I can’t go because I can’t find a sitter. I love silence. I love privacy. I love being able to sleep in if I want to on the weekends. Travel if I want to etc. don’t think of it that I’m gonna die alone. Think of all the possibilities and potential relationships and potential time that you have to accomplish goals and read books and enjoy life. Embrace it. Don’t freak out about it.

Answer

I personally would have regretted it. I was heading to single parents land but eventually found my husband. I was looking into fostering, adopting, freezing eggs, www.knowndonor.com before meeting him. I knew I wanted to be a mother. Had my daughter at 39 and pregnant with second at 41. Everyone’s journey is different, you need to follow your heart

Answer

Only you can decide what’s right for your life. I know someone who is 38 and just had twins via ivf with a donor. She’s single and waited to find the right guy but within the last few years decided she wanted a child no matter what and if that meant doing it alone then that’s what she wanted. I don’t think you ever regret having a child, but doing it alone is very hard. I’m sorry you’re going through this, I can imagine it’s really really difficult.

Answer

If I was in your position I would just go have a baby.
I just had one and while I don't need them. There are so many programs to help when you have a baby. I am using the ones I am able to get.

Answer

Theres no way of knowing if you’ll regret it or not. Life is all about taking chances. You might not regret it at all. Having kids does not guarantee you wont be lonely, they may get estranged or choose to live in another country far away from you. 
I know of some people who never wanted kids & still happy with their decision eg. Oprah. Having kids is not for everyone. 
Make an informed decision & embrace whatever happens after. 
If you decide on having kids later you can adopt, theres lots of kids out there who need love and a stable home.
Good luck.

Am I going to regret not having a baby?

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