I need help...

I am 19 and my mental health has been suffering for awhile now. I’ve grown up watching my parents toxic marriage...I still am to this day. There are things that has happened to me throughout my childhood that I have never told a soul. I recently just ended a toxic relationship/situationship and still dealing with hurt from that in which no one knows also. My parents tend to make me feel like shit 90% of the time and unfortunately I just deal with it. Overall...I’m just tired, overwhelmed, I feel empty and sad but yet I always put on a happy facade bc everyone around me makes me feel like I have to. I want to get professional help but I don’t think I’ll be able to afford it right now nor do I have transportation or insurance. I just purchased my own car last month...my biggest accomplishment and now I have to get a new engine as well as trying to save my education (not knowing if I’ll be returning to school). I’m not happy and everything is weighing on me. I wouldn’t want anyone to know I’m in therapy bc my family doesn’t necessarily take mental health seriously.

How do I better myself and cope without the proper resources? I really need help...it’s time.